I was at a conference recently where I reconnected with someone from my uni years whom I had met through a mutual friend . Over the course of a few days we skipped the casual prompts that occur in surface level get-to-know-yous and we jumped right into curious conversation ignited by philosophy and personal insights about life.

This is my favourite way to spend time with people – immersed in open-ended, explorative dialogue where folks listen without judgement and without expectation.

One part of our discussion has stayed with me. I can’t remember it word for word but its sentiment has lingered so I’m going to try and reflect on it here.

We were talking about life, and goals, and doing things and well, just being.

She shared her worry about not possibly doing something “big” in life. This resonated with me – the way society defines success and the pressure to reach certain milestones. As I listened my heart soared when she shared her revelation: that living her life is big. And that could be enough.

That it is enough.

It was a grounding perspective. And I’ve been thinking about this, mulling about in my thoughts. How my own ambitions for a “big” life have complicated my actual desire for a simple life.

I know, I know. swap big for fulfilled and purposeful and there you have it. I’m overthinking, right? Unnecessarily exhausting myself.

There is no doubt that I’m a lucky girl and I live a privileged life. A proud life. A fulfilled life.

But I’ve been obsessed with those big things. The things I don’t have. The way something didn’t work out. The things that are taking longer to unfold. The things that disappeared right before my eyes. All the things that distract me, busy my mind, convolute my heart and blurry my sense of gratitude.

That’s perhaps the most frustrating reality of all – I stopped practicing gratitude these past few years because life didn’t go the way I thought it would. And when you lose sight of this coming home to it, recentring your heart and priorities, is a stark lesson in humility … and being human.

I’ve been reading a lot about how to reframe my worldview. About the value of enjoying and embracing what I do have while not comparing it to what I don’t have.

Common sense I know. But not when you lose sight of hope and faith. It does lift my heart to write that I’ve learned that in losing something or failing at something I also gain something.

As my husband said while driving home from a cottage, perhaps it’s about looking at life differently. Rather than wishing it was something different. Looking at what we have, who we have and where we are.

And when I look at life through that lens what I see is one helluva view … a big, beautiful existence that is uniquely my own to live.