It’s been a few years since we last put up a Christmas tree. One year, we spent Christmas Day at Mount Sinai for an embryo transfer that didn’t work. That moment marked the start of many holidays overshadowed by the weight of family planning. Consumed by yearning and loss, I couldn’t find joy in the season, so we stopped decorating, putting up the tree, and letting the holidays fade into the background.

But life has a way of changing—quickly, profoundly. This year is different. This is our first Christmas as parents, celebrating with our wildlings. Their joy, anticipation, and wonder have brought a holiday cheer I’ve never felt before.

Our first family tree has its own story. It comes from my sister-in-law’s grandfather, whose Christmas looks very different this year. This tree isn’t just a decoration—it’s a symbol of connection, of memories shared and passed on. It holds a narrative that we’ll share with our children, a story rooted in love and gratitude.

This Christmas is filled with firsts, and it feels extraordinary. Yet, as I reflect, I realize I should have embraced the holidays in those more challenging years. I should have celebrated what I had rather than mourning what I didn’t or grieving what I’d lost. We’re all carrying something—loss, longing, or pain—but the holidays offer us a chance to cherish what truly matters: memories, loved ones, and the beauty of the present moment.

These little humans are humbling me, grounding me, and teaching me to see life through a lens of gratitude. And this tree, simple as it is, carries a meaning far beyond words. It stands as a reminder of love, resilience, and the power of hope.

I never thought I’d hang the first ornament my grandma gave me as a baby while my son and daughter hung bulbs and pine cones at my feet. But here I am. Here we are—a new family decorating a tree as the kids look up in awe in a happy embrace.

I don’t need anything wrapped under the tree. This photo, the memory of today—these wildlings—is the best gift and honour I’ll ever receive.

If you’re struggling this holiday season please know I see you and I’m here for you.