constantly going through the motions of this emotional journey of self discovery: growing, playing, dreaming – living. i knew that my life had changed the moment i made the decision to come to australia. i just didn’t realize how much.
i also knew that i would be leaving home for a while, a long while. i still do not know where i am going; still too timid to make any commitments, concrete decisions. there are days that i still feel lost. days that i am slightly scared. scared of what i don’t know. but most days i am on a natural high, embracing life, reveling in the wonders of where i am. what i am doing.
i came to melbourne to find myself. got control of my life. to grow up. i came to melbourne to breathe. and as my good friend AT pointed out: i came here to fall in love – with myself. i also came here to take the next step, to be inspired.
this train of thought explains the recent epiphany of sorts i had while watching bill cunningham new york and mother of rock (lillian roxon) during the melbourne international film festival – bold personalities, strong and stubborn. iconic talent in their respect profession living and working for what they love. their stories are set in new york city – the hardest city to survive in. and i realized that i need to take my story there. i need to be exposed and pushed. i need to feel vulnerable as that is the only thing that will strengthen me. i need to feel alone as that is the only way i will find myself. i need to continue exploring because there really is that much to discover – about myself and the rest of the world for that matter.