dreams of new york.

constantly going through the motions of this emotional journey of self discovery: growing, playing, dreaming – living.  i knew that my life had changed the moment i made the decision to come to australia.  i just didn’t realize how much.

i also knew that i would be leaving home for a while, a long while.  i still do not know where i am going; still too timid to make any commitments, concrete decisions.  there are days that i still feel lost.  days that i am slightly scared.  scared of what i don’t know.  but most days i am on a natural high, embracing life, reveling in the wonders of where i am.  what i am doing.

i came to melbourne to find myself.  got control of my life.  to grow up.  i came to melbourne to breathe.  and as my good friend AT pointed out: i came here to fall in love – with myself.  i also came here to take the next step, to be inspired. 

this train of thought explains the recent epiphany of sorts i had while watching bill cunningham new york and mother of rock (lillian roxon) during the melbourne international film festival – bold personalities, strong and stubborn.  iconic talent in their respect profession living and working for what they love.  their stories are set in new york city – the hardest city to survive in.  and i realized that i need to take my story there.  i need to be exposed and pushed.  i need to feel vulnerable as that is the only thing that will strengthen me.  i need to feel alone as that is the only way i will find myself.  i need to continue exploring because there really is that much to discover – about myself and the rest of the world for that matter.

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