my definition: when lust, sexual attraction or emotional chemistry breaks barriers and turns into what one mistakenly interprets as something more.
it’s easy to blame someone for leading you on. endlessly confusing you even. two people meet. chemistry, an emotional and physical reaction and from there lust ensues. in most situations one of the two mates falls harder than the other. sometimes one doesn’t fall at all knowing that it is just lust while the other falls painfully hard. thereafter both are responsible for whatever words, feelings and actions unfold. for the one that gets hurt it is easy to blame the other for leading him/her on and for the one that stood still it easy to say that he/she never did anything to complicate the heart. in my opinion – both are to blame. emotional intentions are easily fabricated by the one that wants more but selfishness also easily overcomes the one that wanted the teasing pleasure that lust provides. quite often a sexual relationship is mistaken for romantic intimacy. lust is sometimes unnecessarily blurred into love. a want for something so absolutely unattainable can drive infatuation up to an unfathomable level, which can be a beautiful feeling especially if one is feeling ugly inside.
and whilst a head-fuck usually results in heartbreak the one that is left heartbroken is luckily spared. yes, i said luckily. because while untangling this clusterfuck of emotions, one will discover that it probably wasn’t the other that he/she fell in love with but something much bigger. yes, the heart got broken. yes, there was hurt. but this all happens because you come back ten times stronger, learning something about the way you love or how you want to be loved. so yeah, a head-fuck is not that bad if you are able to learn and grow from it. in fact, i think we each need to survive at least one once in our lives in order to understand what is we want in a partner, the level of intimacy that we are willing to bend for and how we want to be loved by that person in return.