it is amazing to think that a year ago today i stepped off a plane, arriving in australia.
although i did not realize it then i recognize it now upon reflecting on who i was a mere 12 months ago and where i am now: this writing exercise has been extremely empowering, reading back on insights and thoughts, being able to read about my growth – literally watching myself unfold with each word.
melbourne and i are getting along amazingly well. she has taught me how to be strong, survive on my own and has provided a beautiful landscape for finding the things i lost a long time ago. its been a life changing year but my journey is just beginning – well its perpetual really as life is a boundless adventure. i have become grounded since being here, a little calmer and confident in my ability; in myself.
i am learning to embrace my flaws, exercise my interests and challenge myself with new foods, new sounds and new knowledge. but there is still so much i want to work through. i want to rid of the guilt i feel for moving away from home. i want to accept the fact that i cannot fix problems i can only support the people enduring them. i want to respect my body more by learning how to cook clean food. i want to promote and adapt a sustainable lifestyle. i want to be a strong voice in my family and reconnect with old friends that i have been neglecting. i want to be fearless when it comes to the possibility of falling in love and i want to encourage those around me to champion one cause and commit at least two hours a week to helping someone in need. i want to start listening again rather than being so harshly honest. i want to read more and read often. i want to laugh louder. i want to travel further and see more remote parts of the world. i want to continue fighting, pushing forward and distancing myself from the loneliness that swallowed me up 18 months ago. i want to enjoy beautiful melbourne the next year ahead and not provoke any big changes.
i really just want to live simplistically. i want to spend this next phase getting to know myself again and honouring the dreams of that naive yet eagerly enthusiastic nicole i carelessly abandoned 10 years ago.
this journal is nearly full which is timely and exciting as a brand new chapter is rapidly unfolding.