the push-away-good-bye.

December 27, 2015

adventures in bedlam.

The anticipation of a hello. The ambivalence of saying goodbye. That profound moment in time where two people connect–where your hearts collide.

Upon arrival a lingering departure looms but you don’t think about it, as you haven’t made any memories yet. You unpack your bags and take a look around. Embracing the person in front of you, you hear a familiar sound. It’s the melody of your laughter, for here in their presence your joy, it has been found.

With surrealism fading and all your dreams coming true you spend the next few days exploring one another nonsensically. You’ll create picture memories that will last a lifetime and share stories that will never be told. You’ll reminisce about the love that you’ve found and the love that you’ve let go; you’ll sing out loud to songs whose words you don’t care to know.

You’ll dance in the moonlight and chase after a shooting star. You’ll dive deep into the crashing waves and contemplate yesterday’s tomorrow on the golden beach. You’ll fall asleep to fireflies playing in the dark and rise in time to see the sun kiss the day awake.

You’ll hold the person’s hand so tightly as if to never let go and you’ll look at them with a silent fondness that they will never know.

You’ll dine with good food and indulge in even finer wine. You’ll fill your shoes with sand and your heart with feelings so divine.

Some good byes

Start something in you,

The kind of thing

You are not

Meant to explain,

You just know

You have to solve

On your own.

-R. M. Drake

Then will come the morning when you must pack for your next port of call. For a fleeting moment you don’t blink in hopes that time won’t move at all.

You idle at the top of the stairs because you’re not ready to leave the romantic idyll of serenity behind. But you know you have to go for that something you need to find.

Your heart isn’t breaking but the tears still stroll down your face. You succumb even deeper into your companion’s strong, steadfast embrace. You wonder if you hug them a little tighter your lives might just blend together. But with the hourglass spiraling dry and the train’s whistle blowing, you reluctantly pull away. It doesn’t make sense to stay. 

Mouths move to speak a thousand words that have yet to be spoken but no conversation is created. Your rose-blushed cheeks say it all. You kiss your humanlust goodbye with a happy smile, softly whispering, “I will see you then, in a while.”

The train whistles blow again. You are running out of time. You fumble for your bags; you leave your heart behind.

Bidding adieu feels like forever so with one last look you lose yourself in their eyes, knowing there is nothing more you can say, nothing more that you can do, you take a step back and let the crowd carry you away.

They reach for you one last time, your mind silently screaming, “please don’t let me go” but leave you do anyway. You push away goodbye with mascara stains of rendezvous memories rolling down your face.  But they soon dry because you know that the next time you return there they will be, welcoming you back to that same sweet place of serendipity.

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About beautifulbird

a very curious lass with oh-so-much to say. this blog, a creative space for me and my words to play.

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