detoxing.

April 7, 2010

moving hemispheres.

Three weeks young into Melbourne.  Amazing how a mere matter of days can feel like a lifetime.

Detoxing.  And I don’t mean in the drinking-partying sense.  What I mean is a complete life cleanse – eliminating everything that was negative, anything interfering with being happy.  I thought that packing up my life, cramming it into a storage locker and relocating to a different hemisphere at first was somewhat drastic but now that I’ve had time to absorb the transition, digest my decision, it was really the only thing practical to do.  With the exception of being far from home there is no challenge to doing this.  Yes, I will get lonely and scared.  Yes, I will feel estranged and defeated.  But these moments will be temporary lapses.  Moments that will only strengthen me and add substance to my experience.  I wish I could have brought everyone I love with me in my pocket.  The thrill of doing this on my own is exhilarating.  I’m excited to figure out the next phase of my life.  I’m not nervous about not knowing what I’m doing tomorrow or where my next pay cheque will come from.  I’m confident that everything will work out especially when I am the only person who can make things happen for myself, the only person in control of what decisions are made and the only person to worry about.  Yes, I struggle with the selfishness of that thought but I’m reassured because my goal is to get involved, reach out and make sure that no matter what I do it is helping others. 

A fresh start.  A new beginning.  I’ve never felt any of this before.  But no matter how overwhelming it is it feels absolutely brilliant.  Rambling thoughts right now – but when I look back on this time in my life I want to be able to remember what exactly was on my mind.  Exactly what it was that I was striving for on this journey.

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About beautifulbird

a very curious lass with oh-so-much to say. this blog, a creative space for me and my words to play.

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