the sound of a loving voice knocks any strength out from under me.  i am resorted to feeling isolated, lonely and insecure in the sudden realization that i left those that naturally get me in a completely different hemisphere. 

which is why when a phone call from home comes on a bad day that feeling of elation is overcome with painsaking homesickness.  and all i want to do is give up and run back to familiarity.

but instead i try not to let my voice crack as i smile through clenched teeth to tell her that i love her as she praises my will to move half way across the world.

it was this spontaneous phone call from someone who i have spent my entire life admiring that wiped the tears away and remind me that home isn’t far away – i just have to pick up the phone and say “hi, i just wanted to hear your voice.  i’m having a bad day”.