an epiphany.

i was asked today if i have ever had a life epiphany.  to which i replied – yes.  multiple ones – or at least mere revelations that in the moment felt big enough to be an epiphany.

regardless of what definitive moment they were there have definitely been two instances in recent memory that were powerful enough to classify as “the sudden realization or comprehension of the larger essence” – a manifestation that led me to understanding the meaning of something extraordinary.

two moments when i knew for certain that my life course would be altered and i would never be the same.

the first epiphany was when i moved away from home and entered the unknown landscape of university.  awkward, alone and vulnerable, i threw myself into so many things to find my niche.  and i found it ironically enough at a student distress centre.  volunteering, i learned the values of being empathetic, how to listen to people in a time of need.  i would later go on to direct the centre with a phenomenal cast of peers.  and although lost myself i found my way in helping others find theirs.  and it was there, in that safe space, that i realized that i wanted to spend every spare moment – and the rest of my life for that matter – dedicated to benefiting the well-being of others.

my second epiphany came one night upon returning to one of my favourite extracurricular activities.  a new stranger had joined the program in my absence.  sarcastic banter about leaving his children behind to escape the responsibilities of life did not make for a good first impression, however, after six weeks of insightful conversations and then having to say good-bye to someone who i barely knew, i was overwhelmed by the impact that this person had on me.  i knew that this new friendship would play a role in my life – i just didn’t know in what capacity.  it wasn’t until two years later when i met him again that i had this startling revelation – i was living a very unhappy life, depriving myself of fulfilment and meaning.  this person was not the epiphany itself but it was the first person to ever challenge me to be honest with myself.  in crossing paths again – in the same rut i had been two years prior – encountering him was definitely influential and life changing.  few people have that ability to move you, to pull you, to inspire you.  but this particular friend did that for me – opening my eyes to a much bigger world than the one that i had been confined too.

and now here i am living for me.  enjoying the space in time that i’m lingering in.  that is of course until my next ephiphany.

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