without revealing too much detail, this song seemed to be my personal anthem for nearly six months.  it was 2001, i had just moved away from the familiarity of high school, entering the vast world of university.  indeed, i was scared on many levels: scared of moving away from home, scared of finding out what i would learn about myself over the next four years and scared about finding my place outside of the safety of my community compound. 

 

but unbeknownst to me, what i was most scared about was the sensation and complexity of young love.  surely we have all experienced it at least once in our early 20s – that crush or infatuation that shook you to your core.  nearly combusting with butterflies you had no idea how to differentiate between lust and love.  feelings were innocent but because this was the first time your heart was enduring something to this emotional extent it was exactly that – scary. 

 

in retrospect i definitely wasn’t prepared for my ‘first love’.  but who is really?  i don’t remember much from it other than it was exhilarating and fun. the end was torturous but most things are when you are young, inexperienced and naive.   nonetheless, this endurance would set the pace for my relationships over the coming years as with each heartbreak comes perspective and strength.  ten years onwards i’m still ‘not sure if i’m getting through’, but i definitely recall this song being able to describe how i felt in that place and time.