continuing my recent addiction to cultural indulgence i found myself at the st. kilda film festival opening night – all in thanks to a lovely australian girl who is helping me make old interests new again.  it cannot compare to toronto’s hot docs yet this festival has its own pride and flare – celebrating australian indie film.   a night of talent and magic nonetheless.  many stories to be told.

oddly enough it was a german animated short that stole the show for me.  titled “a lost and found box of human sensation” the flick follows the journey of a boy coping with the untimely loss of his father (diagnosis: cancer) to the happy evolution of falling in love with a beautiful girl only to grieve again once he realizes she has a boyfriend.  but with all of this disparity the short ends with the boy tripping flat-faced into a pile of white snow – nothing but flurries – only to stand up and see the blooming of green grass beneath his imprint.  and then right in front of him – a single flower stands, blooming.  the beginning of spring – a sign of starting anew.

how does this resonate with me?  there is a segment in the short where the boy is going through a monotonous routine of eat, drink, work and fuck.  he gets into this viciously depressing repetitive cycle – eat, drink, work and fuck.  until one day he wakes up, packs a bag and leaves it all behind.  he goes on a two-year road trip, music blaring, to rejuvenate.  perhaps to soul-search, perhaps to put some distance between himself and the grief.  he returns only when he is happy, when his heart is refreshed.  upon his return, his heart is broken.  however, rather than run again, he picks himself up out of the snow, brushes himself off and embraces the loss – this is a part of life.  happiness is a transient feeling.  just like sadness.  and with brave courage he unwraps his box – reflecting on the loss that strengthened him and lit up with what life had not yet found.

it is the metaphor of having a box stored away – packed up with lost and found – that i am able to identify with.  something had died inside of me – as dramatic as that sounds – but it did.  so far lost the only way i could cope was to pack a bag…and go.  i still need some distance – not sure what from – which is why i know i still need time.  although rejuvenated and possessing a strong sense of clarity, i’m not quite sure what i am looking for.  but i also don’t think i am supposed to (or care to) know what it is that i will find.  i hold dear my boxes full of memories.  and i have this restless excitement as there will be many more to fill up. 

the synopsis of the film describes the box of human sensation as “a powerful emotional journey through time and space.”  since both elements (time and space) are unmeasurable indefinites i’ll stick with my current journey, albeit going off the beaten trail every now and then. 

so, what’s in your box? 

go on…open it up.   

embrace what was lost…and get excited for what has yet to be found. 

(interested in the film?  check out: http://www.lostbox.de/about/index.html)